“Ya clarty wee cow” ma maw used to say
every week wen a had tae hae a bath on a Sunday
But can a no jist hae a wash
as a made a mad dash
past the swinging hand that you can hear
jist as it clashes wi your ear
Aw maw wit wiz that fir av no dun anyhing
Look she’d say at the tide mark ring
People will call you a “dirty wee tramp”
So rub, rub, rub, wae a cloth that was damp
See it’s no coming off a telt ye yer black
Noo get in that bath before your arse is also black
Aw awright but am no missing Coronation Street
Hurry up then hen av got ye a special treat
You’ll no believe what my treat wiz tae be
Cod liver oil – ah! Bit it had orange in it yee hee
That was one of my five a day
But do you no wit the best treat wiz fir me
No more baths until next Sunday

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